Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
