Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
