So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
