"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
