can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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