My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
