i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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