She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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