Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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