Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
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