I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
