I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
