dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
