"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize
