WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
This house was built for laser tag.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I have aggressive nipples.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
