If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
