oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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