I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
