Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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