Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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