As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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