It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
