i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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