your room smells of hookers.
And success
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
