i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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