Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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