White coat. Heels.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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