Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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