Dual....:-)
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
