____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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