So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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