there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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