he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I just gargled with NyQuil
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