I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
