I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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