lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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