he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
