Moan for me like Helen Keller
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
