i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i came on her dog
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
