I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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