When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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