So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
