I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
