i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
