Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
