So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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