My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
