He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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