We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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