Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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