just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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