At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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